LGBTQ+ Archives - Mind Tools https://www.mindtools.com/blog/tag/lgbtq/ Mind Tools Wed, 28 Jun 2023 14:08:25 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.2.2 5 Ways to Support Your LGBTQ+ Colleagues https://www.mindtools.com/blog/5-ways-to-support-your-lgbtq-colleagues/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/5-ways-to-support-your-lgbtq-colleagues/#respond Thu, 08 Jun 2023 08:13:30 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=26936 One of the few spaces that can have real impact in improving LGBTQ+ equality is the workplace. But it takes effort; and it's not only up to our LGBTQ+ colleagues. It's up to the rest of us, too.

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Note: a version of this blog first appeared in 2019. We have since updated it to bring you the best tips!

June marks Pride Month for the U.K., U.S. and Australia. And yet, despite progress and increased public support for LGBTQ+ equality in recent times, many people who belong to the community are still discriminated against, in the workplace and outside of it.

In fact, according to data collected by the Human Rights Campaign Foundation, 46 percent of people are still closeted at work. Some of the main reasons for this are fear of being stereotyped (38 percent), worries over making others feel uncomfortable (36 percent), and concerns about losing friends (31 percent).

In many territories across the world, being or behaving in a way that implies you're LGBTQ+ can still have severe consequences. In fact, 71 countries still criminalize same-sex relationships, with eight countries even using the death penalty as a punishment. And in more than half of the world, LGBTQ+ people are not protected from discrimination by workplace law.

LGBTQ+ Equality and the Workplace

One of the few spaces that can have real impact in improving LGBTQ+ equality is the workplace. And unsurprisingly, being an LGBTQ+ inclusive employer is great for business too. It "positively impacts recruitment, retention, engagement and, overall, total revenue" according to the Human Rights Campaign Foundation. But it takes effort – and it's not only up to LGBTQ+ colleagues to change the workplace culture. It's up to the rest of us, too.

Often – far too often – we tend to tell ourselves, "What can I do?" or, "It's none of my business." We might think we're too ignorant or out of the loop to really understand the things that impact our LGBTQ+ colleagues. We might be worried that we'll make a mistake and cause offense, without intending to. We might even think that the war for equality has been won, now that same-sex marriage is legal (in some territories), and other rights activists are openly doing more to achieve equality in legislation.

But allies to the community are key to long-term transformation. This is particularly the case in workplaces, where co-workers and supervisors can use their influence to change mindsets, call out negative stereotyping and discrimination, and celebrate the uniqueness and diversity of colleagues.

Being an Ally to LGBTQ+ Colleagues

You don't have to be a member of the LGBTQ+ community to support it. It's not even difficult to do. It takes respect, and the ability to listen (properly listen without interrupting) and learn.

So, if you want to show your support but aren't sure how to do it, here are a few things you can do to become a true ally to your LGBTQ+ colleagues:

1. Learn About LGBTQ+ Life

Pride Month is a great opportunity to learn! So why not take some time to discover the story behind how Pride started? Or learn more about some of the key figures who changed the course of LGBTQ+ history?

Brush up on terms, too. We use the term LGBTQ+ frequently, but do you actually know what it stands for? LGBTQ+ is an initialism for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer, while the "plus" includes other sexualities and identities, such as pansexual, intersex and asexual. While the term is relatively new, remember that LGBTQ+ people have always existed – from way before this term became popular!

Over the years, Pride has become much more diverse to encompass many different sexualities and identities, some of which are still not fully understood. This can at times feel confusing (there's a lot to learn!). To help out, we've produced a handy infographic that includes some of the different Pride flags and what they represent:

An infographic showing various Pride flags and what groups they represent.

It's also important to remember that the LGBTQ+ community itself differs in opinions and beliefs, sometimes widely and strongly. Be open and respectful to these varied opinions. As long as they're not hurtful or abusive, they can tell you a lot about the unique perspectives of the LGBTQ+ community and the issues facing it.

2. Avoid Assumptions

Unless a colleague specifically mentions their sexual orientation, it's unprofessional and inconsiderate to make assumptions. After all, you may be wrong. There's no way of knowing whether someone is LGBTQ+ without asking them. Assuming that you have "gaydar" can actually perpetuate harmful stereotypes.

Even if you know that one of your colleagues is LGBTQ+, it's important to let them decide if and when they want to let others know. They may be very private. Keep in mind that they need to make this decision repeatedly – whenever they start a new job or meet new people.

Avoid putting your LGBTQ+ colleagues in the uncomfortable position of speaking for the whole group. Just because your colleague is transgender doesn't mean that they want to talk about transgender issues all the time, or that they're some kind of spokesperson for the transgender community.

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3. Use Inclusive Language

Use language that recognizes that people have diverse lifestyles, relationships and families. For example, instead of asking about someone's "husband" or "wife," you could ask about their "partner." Or instead of "mom" and "dad," say "parent."

If you still aren't sure what terms you should be using, ask! This is a sign of respect and an easy way to demonstrate your support for LGBTQ+ colleagues.

No matter how well-intentioned you are, chances are you've used gendered words in the workplace. But using non-inclusive words regularly can have a negative impact on people who already feel that they don't fit in to what's perceived to be the "norm."

Just think about the following phrases:

  • guys and gals.
  • ladies and gentlemen.
  • brothers and sisters.
  • sir/madam.
  • he/she.

The above are gender assumptive. They only recognize two main genders, but the truth is that some people don't belong to either. They might be gender fluid or non-binary. So try using more inclusive language instead, such as:

  • friends and colleagues.
  • esteemed guests.
  • they/them.
  • everyone.

4. Be Respectful of Pronouns

Ask my pronouns written on board on top of pride flag.
© GettyImages/Anastasiia Yanishevska

The pronouns that we use (he or she or they) are tied intrinsically to our identity. So it's important that we get these right – particularly when it comes to our colleagues.

Some people may be trans; others may be gender neutral. And yet, far too often people assume pronouns for other people. Often this is reflexive, but getting it wrong can cause people upset (even if it's unintentional). So, if you're unsure, ask someone, "What's your personal pronoun?" This is an open, low-pressure question that allows someone who's in the process of transitioning or has already transitioned to affirm their identity.

You can also do your bit by updating your own pronouns in visible spaces – for example, on social media profiles, or on internal communication platforms, via your IM profile and email signature. Doing this supports trans and non-binary people by normalizing gender identity and expression.

5. Tackle Discrimination and Harassment

Intolerance in the workplace can take the form of overt abuse or microaggressions. Obviously, overt abuse and harassment have no place in the workplace, and a zero-tolerance approach should be taken.

Pinpointing and dealing with microaggressions can be more tricky. According to professor of psychology Dr Kevin L. Nadal, microaggressions are "commonplace verbal, behavioral, or environmental actions that communicate hostility toward oppressed or targeted groups."

They might seem like small things; but, over time, they can have a serious impact on a person's physical and mental wellbeing. Furthermore, ignoring them can serve to perpetuate inequality and undermine inclusion.

Common examples of microaggressions are things like, "You don't look gay," or, "How did you turn gay?" They can also include misgendering, tokenization, failure to acknowledge LGBTQ+ relationships, or exclusion from social groups.

When perpetrators are called out on their behavior, they might qualify it with things like, "You're being oversensitive," or, "I was just joking." This can make it tricky to tackle this kind of behavior. Dr Nadal suggests victims or witnesses ask themselves five questions to help them decide how to respond:

  • If I respond, could my physical safety be in danger?
  • If I respond, will the person become defensive, and will this lead to an argument?
  • If I respond, how will this affect my relationship with this person?
  • If I don't respond, will I regret not saying something?
  • If I don't respond, does that convey that I accept the behavior or statement?

If you do decide to take action, respond assertively rather than aggressively. Calmly talk to the person about how their words and behavior have affected you. Use "I" statements such as, "I think what you just said was very hurtful," instead of attacking statements like, "You're homophobic," which will likely cause the person to become defensive.

Finally, seek support! If you feel that microaggressions are constant and persistent, even when you've done your best to address them, you may need to make a formal complaint to HR. Also, talk to your allies – people who you know to be trustworthy and who will listen to you without judgment. Share with them the emotional impact of the situation and how it's affected you. This can be crucial in allowing you to work through negative feelings that the microaggression has caused, such as low self-confidence or self-worth, anger, and even depression.

Do you know of more ways we can support our LGBTQ+ co-workers? What do you expect from a good ally? You might be interested in the following resources:

Diversity at Work Video
Mutual Respect
Toxic: A Guide to Rebuilding Respect and Tolerance in a Hostile Workplace
The Diversity Bonus: How Great Teams Pay Off in the Knowledge Economy
Understanding the Bystander Effect


Lucy Bishop

About the Author:

Lucy has over 10 years’ experience writing, editing and commissioning content. She has a keen interest in supporting inclusion and diversity, and chairs Mind Tools' neurodiversity panel. Lucy also heads up Mind Tools’ video learning series, and particularly enjoys exploring and experimenting with new video formats. When she’s not producing fantastic new learning content, she can be found enjoying nature with her two kids and delving into the latest book on her very long reading list!

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Pride Month – What It Is and What It Isn't https://www.mindtools.com/blog/pride-month-what-it-is-and-what-it-isnt/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/pride-month-what-it-is-and-what-it-isnt/#respond Wed, 22 Jun 2022 12:01:56 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=31847 June is Pride Month in the U.K., U.S. and Australia. Since 1970, Pride parades have advocated for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans rights and freedom of expression. Now, they also give a voice to queer, intersex and asexual/aromantic/agender people, too. (These make up the full acronym, LGBTQIA+). As a privileged queer woman, I recently began […]

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June is Pride Month in the U.K., U.S. and Australia. Since 1970, Pride parades have advocated for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans rights and freedom of expression. Now, they also give a voice to queer, intersex and asexual/aromantic/agender people, too. (These make up the full acronym, LGBTQIA+).

As a privileged queer woman, I recently began to wonder what all the fuss is about. Haven't we reached equal rights by now? And isn't condensing the entirety of LGBTQ+ history into one month a year a bit reductive? After all, it's not like LGBTQ+ people exist only during the month of June!

But recent events demonstrate that we do indeed still need a Pride Month. Here, I explore what Pride Month is today, what it means for my colleagues, as well as why we still need it more than 50 years after the first Pride riots.

Why Do We Still Need Pride Month?

While it may seem like we have reached total equality in the U.K., U.S. and Australia, LGBTQ+ people still experience many injustices in these countries.

Earlier this year, the U.K. Government failed to include transgender people in its ban on conversion therapy. In the U.S., multiple states are considering a "Don't Say Gay" bill to restrict schools from discussing gender identity and sexual orientation until after third grade. And earlier this month, an Australian journalist attempted to "out" actress and comedian Rebel Wilson. With cases like these in the headlines, it's easy to feel like we're taking two steps back with each step forward.

Clearly, we still need Pride Month in order to tackle these barriers to freedom and equality.

In the words of Mind Tools Coach, Mike Barzacchini, "The ability to be who you are and to love who you love should be fundamental. To me, Pride Month means both celebrating and advancing those freedoms. And never taking them for granted."

Celebration, Visibility and Education

Pride started out as a series of riots in 1969. After police raided a New York City gay bar (the Stonewall Inn) in the early hours of June 28, neighboring residents fought back. The following six days consisted of violent protests and clashes with the police.

These riots were pivotal in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights and safe spaces.

Now, Pride is more of a celebration for the community, and a chance to look back on all that has been achieved since then. Though the hard work isn't over yet!

As Senior Web Content Manager, Kevin Wiltshire, points out, "I celebrate Pride to recognize that we've achieved so much; to acknowledge the people who got us here and who continue to work for acceptance and equality; and, importantly, to call to mind that there are places where, not only is Pride not possible, but also dangerous just being LGBTQ+. They can't be visible, so I must."

Mind Tools Writer/Editor Melanie Bell feels a similar way. She says, "Pride Month is important for acknowledging the progress that's been made toward securing rights for the LGBTQ+ community and fighting for those rights that are still absent, threatened, or uncertain.

"It's about more than that, too: it's about being recognized for an important aspect of who you are and finding community in this. It's also about recognizing and celebrating the many valuable contributions that LGBTQ+ people have brought to the world."

Chief Impact Officer of Emerald Works, Nahdia Khan, highlighted the need for further education around intersectionality. "Pride is a great celebration of the achievements of the LGBTQIA+ movement, but I would like to see a greater debate around systemic issues that affect communities disproportionately. Economic deprivation, mental health and wellbeing for example, and how we can advocate for solutions."

Pride Month Isn't an Excuse for Rainbow Washing!

Pride Month evidently means so much to so many people, but every year it is also rendered meaningless by hundreds of businesses that use it as a marketing ploy. I once looked forward to June and my city's Pride parade, in which everyone felt welcomed and accepted, but now I've come to dread seeing our flag stamped on sandwich wrappers, shampoo bottles, and coffee cups in shops.

I feel like part of my identity is being monetized, reduced to a commodity that anyone and everyone can buy. This phenomenon has been given a name: rainbow washing. We've seen similar appropriations of Black History Month and Juneteenth.

Well, newsflash: we don't want 50 pence coins and colorful sandwich packaging. We just want to exist without facing prejudice or discrimination. Businesses need to do better to build inclusive cultures that aren't superficial!

Pride Month Is About Change

Now, we're seeing shifts in both directions – for better and for worse. Pride Month is an important reminder that the fight for gay rights is still very much on, particularly in countries outside of Europe, the U.S. and Australia.

In a positive shift, Thailand held its first Pride parade in 16 years this month. Calls for same-sex marriage were heard: the government is soon set to vote on a same-sex union bill. While we can't predict this outcome, it's clear that the Thai Pride parade is sparking change in the country's attitudes.

Emerald Publishing Inside Sales Representative, Sarjit Kaur, has observed this, too. She said, "In Asia, LGBTQ+ still revolves very much around relationships, rejection, taboo, mental stress, and emotions. Probably because one's identity relates closely to one's position in the family, community, society, and religion. Sexuality and gender play a significant role in the culture.

"Despite all of that, LGBTQ+ rights vs. Asian values are being challenged by certain activists to encourage people to talk openly about the issues and rights. Today, with the growing LGBTQ+ movements spreading strong messages, I can see people beginning to embrace the LGBTQ+ community and hopefully the situation will change."

Why is Pride Month important to you? What barriers do you think we still need to dismantle in order to achieve equality? Let us know in the comments section below.

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What Pride Means to Us https://www.mindtools.com/blog/what-pride-means-to-us/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/what-pride-means-to-us/#comments Wed, 30 Jun 2021 07:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=26973 Unable to celebrate Pride as we would have pre-COVID, we asked our colleagues and subscribers to share Pride memories, hopes and fears.

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Today marks the end of Pride month in several countries, including the U.K., the U.S. and Australia. And, while the past few weeks have been a chance to celebrate the LGBTQ+ community, they've also been a time to reflect and acknowledge that more needs to be done to stamp out inequality and discrimination against LGBTQ+ people across the world.

Celebrating Pride Post-Pandemic

We've not been able to celebrate Pride as we would pre-COVID. So, this year, we asked our colleagues and subscribers to share their favorite memories of Pride, as well as what the month means to them.

Rejoicing in Yourself and Celebrating Others

Erika Valenti, Regional Manager NA at Emerald Group put it perfectly, "Pride is celebrating the beauty of different but the same."

Jenny Chester, Journal Production Coordinator at Emerald also reflected on the happiness of Pride and the feeling of camaraderie and togetherness that it often sparked, "My favorite memory from Leeds Pride [in West Yorkshire, U.K.] is the members breaking out into a rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody as we marched down the bottom of The Headrow.

"To stand side by side with both friends and strangers, sharing a moment of joy and celebration was incredible. Singing together with one voice, as a community, was a powerful feeling. For me, Pride is that feeling of joyful celebration of yourself and others."

Remembering the Fight Against Social Stigma

Learning and Organizational Manager, Mike Shaw, shared a particularly poignant memory of Manchester Pride, in the north west of England. He also highlighted the part it's played in fighting the social stigma attached to being LGBTQ+.

He recalled, "I love Pride and particularly Manchester Pride, as it's great to see my city so energized celebrating LGBTQI+ with a city-wide parade, music, performance, etc.

"The part of the weekend I am most proud of though, is right at the end of the Bank Holiday Monday. After three days of partying, dancing and drinking, is the AIDS vigil. Set in Sackville Park, at the heart of the 'Gay Village,' which has the AIDS memorial, thousands of people come together to remember those who are no longer with us, the journeys that people have been on, and the impact of HIV and AIDS over the past 40 or so years.

The Candlelit Vigil, Manchester Pride

"As emotional and hard as it is, it is also one of my highlights of the year – celebrating people's lives and fighting social stigma. I am proud and so moved that amid the celebrations, we can find time to stop, reflect, remember, and comfort. The sight of a candlelit sea raised high, is so beautiful... as you can see in the photo."

Being an Ally

For Donna Marie-Johnson, who joined the conversation on our Facebook Career Community group, Pride has been about allyship. And, most importantly, it's encouraged her to listen more to those that often feel unheard and unacknowledged.

She explained, "I had a co-worker who went through a name change after she transitioned [gender]. No one told me this before I did a company-wide search for her. I was shocked because I had never heard of that before. But, when I finally found her, I just listened. That's all she wanted, someone to listen to her. Because of this, I got an employee of the month award. It changed my whole perspective. I cannot judge what other people choose for themselves, that's not my place, but I can just listen. It's an honor to do so."

If you'd like to learn more about how to support your LGBTQ+ colleagues in the workplace like Donna, check out our blog post on the topic here.

Pride Is More Than an Event, It's a State of Mind

In a very moving and personal post, another of our colleagues, who wished to remain anonymous, reflected on their own personal journey. They talked about how far Pride has come in enabling people to live authentic lives, but also how far we still have to go to achieve true equality.

They commented, "Pride is more than a party – it's a state of mind, a way of walking. It's looking someone in the eye. It's not having to fight your demons every waking hour and some of your sleeping ones, too. Yes, it's the absence of shame, but something so much more. And it's the work of a lifetime for someone like me, who grew up in the 70s and 80s when U.K. newspaper headlines spiraled from 'lesbo affair' tittle-tattle to 'gay plague' hate.

"Alternately ostracized and terrorized by schoolmates, I knew of literally no one like me, in real life or fiction. Without the language to explain to myself what I was feeling let alone to anyone else, I quickly learned that to give even a hint of the turmoil inside would be disastrous, for my physical safety, for friendships, for family peace, and for any career prospects. So I shut up and shut down.

"My shell of denial and self-loathing began to crack toward the end of college when I met 'out and proud' gay and lesbian people for the first time (there was almost no recognition of B for bisexual then, let alone TQAI+). They didn't have two heads. They were just a lot more honest and non-judgmental than most of the determinedly straight set I hung out with!

"My first serious job was for an employer whose equality and diversity policy was streets ahead of most. First, they had one. Second, they lived it every day, in who they recruited, in how they treated clients. No empty words on a poster (of which there were many around the building), but somewhere to learn what respect really meant – a safe space for me to explore my own identity and a beacon to other organizations.

"Meanwhile, my lesbian and gay friends in the teaching profession hadn't been able to mention anything at work outside the heteronormative experience, for fear of legal action and public humiliation. Thanks to Section 28 of the Local Government Act, they lived strictly closeted lives, keeping secrets from colleagues and kids alike, and had to stand by while their students struggled with the very same issues.

"This oppression, combined with efforts to eradicate queer people from the police, military and civil service, blighted and distorted lives for decades – to this day, in fact – despite the eventual change of direction by government. Cruel and exclusionary legislation was gradually repealed, and replaced with overtly inclusive approaches, largely thanks to the campaigns of grassroots activists. But it had set a wider tone in workplaces that only shifted for some of my contacts in time for their retirement.

"And now? Well, I'm watching my younger co-workers' apparently casual approach to LGBTQIA+ lives and issues with fascination, envy and humility. One thing I'm learning is that they're not at all as offhand as I thought – rather, they're absolute in their expectation of choice, respect and pride.

"So, yes, party joyfully, if distantly, with your colleagues this Pride month! But history and current affairs tell us it's all too easy to return to grimmer, more dangerous times. So we all – gay, straight, cis, trans, and beyond – need to play our part in building safety, dignity and equity at work. Lives depend on it."

Pride is a Vacation From Feeling Closeted and Ashamed

For one of our younger colleagues – Content Assistant Alice Gledhill – Pride is about giving a voice to people who are often silenced, as well as a chance for others to listen to them and learn. As she explained, "For me, Pride Month is a number of things. It's an opportunity for everyone to listen to a group of people who seldom have a platform in mainstream media where they're not mocked or villainized. It's a chance for straight and cisgender people, in particular, to learn about queer history and modern-day struggles that LGBTQ+ people face. And, Pride Month is a time when LGBTQ+ folk can feel accepted and empowered. For one month of the year, we're embraced and celebrated.

"For many LGBTQ+ people, Pride Month is a vacation from feeling closeted or ashamed, free to be and to express who they are. It can even encourage people to embrace their true selves, like Raiders' Carl Nassib proudly did earlier this month.

"But Pride is still for those who are not publicly 'out' about their sexuality or gender. In fact, if you're not 'out' yet, Pride Month is especially for you.

"I have never officially 'come out' as queer, or really felt a need to. I've never sat my parents down and had 'the talk' with them, or pulled a friend or trusted colleague aside to get it off my chest. I've never felt isolated or discriminated against because of my sexuality. And my life, even my way of life, would be at no risk if I were to come out to my family or colleagues. (Though I guess I just have!)

"My experience comes from a place of privilege. For one thing, it's often easier for women to go undetected as queer than it is for men, as we have more freedom to express both feminine and masculine behaviors. For example, as a child, I would always prefer to play with toy trucks and diggers over dolls. And still, to this day, I would rather climb a tree than put on makeup. My parents labeled me a 'tomboy.' On the other hand, if a young boy plays with dolls and wears makeup, people will instinctively question his sexuality and/or gender identity. Note how there is no (inoffensive) male equivalent term for 'tomboy.'

"I also had the luxury of laid-back parents and of growing up in the U.K. As a result, although I am part of the LGBTQ+ community, I feel more of an ally. I already have it pretty good, so I stand up for those who don't.

"Pride Month is for the many people who lack the kind of privilege I have. We need Pride Month so that all LGBTQ+ lives are respected. Currently, LGBTQ+ people are criminalized in 71 countries. Trans people are twice as likely to be victims of crime in England and Wales than their cis counterparts, and more than 1.8 million LGBTQ+ youths in the U.S. seriously consider suicide each year. For me, Pride Month is an annual catalyst for progress and change.

"Pride Month's very existence acknowledges that there is still work to be done to make LGBTQ+ people feel welcome and safe in society and, indeed, to be proud."

What does Pride mean to you? And how have you celebrated it this year? Share your story in the Comments section, below.

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Five Steps to Empowering Others: Our Expert Interview With Frances Frei https://www.mindtools.com/blog/expert-interview-frances-frei/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/expert-interview-frances-frei/#respond Thu, 24 Sep 2020 12:01:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=23163 Do you feel empowered at work? Inclusion expert Frances Frei shares her framework for unleashing the best in people.

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You could say empowering others is the holy grail of leadership. When people feel empowered, performance, productivity and satisfaction all improve. But how do you do it?

Harvard professor Frances Frei and her partner, Anne Morriss, think they've got the answer. They've developed a practical framework for empowerment, based on their work as consultants and as senior executives at leading global companies.

At its heart is the idea that great leaders may not look like leaders at all – the only thing that matters is what they can do for others.


In this clip from our Expert Interview, Frei expands on this idea.

Trust, Love and Belonging

Morriss and Frei share their framework for empowerment in a new book, titled, "Unleashed: the Unapologetic Leader's Guide to Empowering Everyone Around You."

The framework is easy to visualize. It consists of five concentric circles, with each ring representing a different factor that leads to empowerment. The innermost circle is the closest to the leader, the outermost is the furthest away.

At the center is trust, the main foundation for empowering others. "Without trust," Frei says. "You don't get the benefit of the doubt, and things constantly get re-litigated."

Then comes love. This is an unusual context for "love," but Frei argues that "to really unleash someone in the world" is the greatest act of love you can perform for another person.

Belonging comes next. This is where leaders ensure that they truly see and serve everyone around them, no matter how different those people are. Like Frei herself.

The Big Unleash

"I'm a lot," admits Frei. "Because I want to change the world and I call things how I see them. I have gotten advice, I think, at every stage of my life, to smooth the edges, really trim who I am."

And in the beginning, she tried hard to follow that advice. The result?

"It was a disaster! I was terrible at fitting in, and I wasn't nearly as effective as the people who were born that way," she says.

This led to what she calls "the big unleash." She realized she needed to look beyond people's advice – what she calls "prescriptions" – and focus instead on why they were giving it.

"Often our prescriptions are only good for people that are just like us," she reflects. "So I stopped listening to the actual prescriptions and just started feeling [people's] deep devotion to my success. It totally changed my relationship with people and how I felt on the inclusion dial." 

The Inclusion Dial

The "inclusion dial" is another neat schematic you'll find in her book, in the belonging section. It moves through four steps that describe how team members feel on the path to inclusion: safe, welcome, celebrated, and cherished.

These steps are progressive, Frei says, so the order matters. People will only feel welcome once they feel safe. This then leads to celebration, and the final step is when everyone feels cherished – the ultimate in inclusion and a massive boost for an organization.

People often talk about "diversity and inclusion," she adds, but it's better when inclusion comes first. A culture of inclusion often leads to a diverse workforce, and that's not necessarily the case the other way around.

When you get inclusion right, and good leaders unleash the best from their people, organizations thrive. "That's how we're going to get more rigorous decisions," Frei says. "That's how we're going to be able to do things faster. How we're going to be able to do things at higher quality."

Listen to Our Interview With Frances Frei

Discover fascinating insights from some of the world's leading business figures with our monthly Expert Interviews.

Mind Tools Premium and corporate members can listen to the full 30-minute interview with Frances Frei:

If you're not a Mind Tools member, you can join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources. For our corporate solutions, take a look at our Emerald Works site.

What does inclusion mean to you? How can we unleash the best in our people? Let us know what you think in the comments section below.

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