inclusion Archives - Mind Tools https://www.mindtools.com/blog/tag/inclusion/ Mind Tools Wed, 28 Jun 2023 14:08:25 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.2.2 5 Ways to Support Your LGBTQ+ Colleagues https://www.mindtools.com/blog/5-ways-to-support-your-lgbtq-colleagues/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/5-ways-to-support-your-lgbtq-colleagues/#respond Thu, 08 Jun 2023 08:13:30 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=26936 One of the few spaces that can have real impact in improving LGBTQ+ equality is the workplace. But it takes effort; and it's not only up to our LGBTQ+ colleagues. It's up to the rest of us, too.

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Note: a version of this blog first appeared in 2019. We have since updated it to bring you the best tips!

June marks Pride Month for the U.K., U.S. and Australia. And yet, despite progress and increased public support for LGBTQ+ equality in recent times, many people who belong to the community are still discriminated against, in the workplace and outside of it.

In fact, according to data collected by the Human Rights Campaign Foundation, 46 percent of people are still closeted at work. Some of the main reasons for this are fear of being stereotyped (38 percent), worries over making others feel uncomfortable (36 percent), and concerns about losing friends (31 percent).

In many territories across the world, being or behaving in a way that implies you're LGBTQ+ can still have severe consequences. In fact, 71 countries still criminalize same-sex relationships, with eight countries even using the death penalty as a punishment. And in more than half of the world, LGBTQ+ people are not protected from discrimination by workplace law.

LGBTQ+ Equality and the Workplace

One of the few spaces that can have real impact in improving LGBTQ+ equality is the workplace. And unsurprisingly, being an LGBTQ+ inclusive employer is great for business too. It "positively impacts recruitment, retention, engagement and, overall, total revenue" according to the Human Rights Campaign Foundation. But it takes effort – and it's not only up to LGBTQ+ colleagues to change the workplace culture. It's up to the rest of us, too.

Often – far too often – we tend to tell ourselves, "What can I do?" or, "It's none of my business." We might think we're too ignorant or out of the loop to really understand the things that impact our LGBTQ+ colleagues. We might be worried that we'll make a mistake and cause offense, without intending to. We might even think that the war for equality has been won, now that same-sex marriage is legal (in some territories), and other rights activists are openly doing more to achieve equality in legislation.

But allies to the community are key to long-term transformation. This is particularly the case in workplaces, where co-workers and supervisors can use their influence to change mindsets, call out negative stereotyping and discrimination, and celebrate the uniqueness and diversity of colleagues.

Being an Ally to LGBTQ+ Colleagues

You don't have to be a member of the LGBTQ+ community to support it. It's not even difficult to do. It takes respect, and the ability to listen (properly listen without interrupting) and learn.

So, if you want to show your support but aren't sure how to do it, here are a few things you can do to become a true ally to your LGBTQ+ colleagues:

1. Learn About LGBTQ+ Life

Pride Month is a great opportunity to learn! So why not take some time to discover the story behind how Pride started? Or learn more about some of the key figures who changed the course of LGBTQ+ history?

Brush up on terms, too. We use the term LGBTQ+ frequently, but do you actually know what it stands for? LGBTQ+ is an initialism for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer, while the "plus" includes other sexualities and identities, such as pansexual, intersex and asexual. While the term is relatively new, remember that LGBTQ+ people have always existed – from way before this term became popular!

Over the years, Pride has become much more diverse to encompass many different sexualities and identities, some of which are still not fully understood. This can at times feel confusing (there's a lot to learn!). To help out, we've produced a handy infographic that includes some of the different Pride flags and what they represent:

An infographic showing various Pride flags and what groups they represent.

It's also important to remember that the LGBTQ+ community itself differs in opinions and beliefs, sometimes widely and strongly. Be open and respectful to these varied opinions. As long as they're not hurtful or abusive, they can tell you a lot about the unique perspectives of the LGBTQ+ community and the issues facing it.

2. Avoid Assumptions

Unless a colleague specifically mentions their sexual orientation, it's unprofessional and inconsiderate to make assumptions. After all, you may be wrong. There's no way of knowing whether someone is LGBTQ+ without asking them. Assuming that you have "gaydar" can actually perpetuate harmful stereotypes.

Even if you know that one of your colleagues is LGBTQ+, it's important to let them decide if and when they want to let others know. They may be very private. Keep in mind that they need to make this decision repeatedly – whenever they start a new job or meet new people.

Avoid putting your LGBTQ+ colleagues in the uncomfortable position of speaking for the whole group. Just because your colleague is transgender doesn't mean that they want to talk about transgender issues all the time, or that they're some kind of spokesperson for the transgender community.

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3. Use Inclusive Language

Use language that recognizes that people have diverse lifestyles, relationships and families. For example, instead of asking about someone's "husband" or "wife," you could ask about their "partner." Or instead of "mom" and "dad," say "parent."

If you still aren't sure what terms you should be using, ask! This is a sign of respect and an easy way to demonstrate your support for LGBTQ+ colleagues.

No matter how well-intentioned you are, chances are you've used gendered words in the workplace. But using non-inclusive words regularly can have a negative impact on people who already feel that they don't fit in to what's perceived to be the "norm."

Just think about the following phrases:

  • guys and gals.
  • ladies and gentlemen.
  • brothers and sisters.
  • sir/madam.
  • he/she.

The above are gender assumptive. They only recognize two main genders, but the truth is that some people don't belong to either. They might be gender fluid or non-binary. So try using more inclusive language instead, such as:

  • friends and colleagues.
  • esteemed guests.
  • they/them.
  • everyone.

4. Be Respectful of Pronouns

Ask my pronouns written on board on top of pride flag.
© GettyImages/Anastasiia Yanishevska

The pronouns that we use (he or she or they) are tied intrinsically to our identity. So it's important that we get these right – particularly when it comes to our colleagues.

Some people may be trans; others may be gender neutral. And yet, far too often people assume pronouns for other people. Often this is reflexive, but getting it wrong can cause people upset (even if it's unintentional). So, if you're unsure, ask someone, "What's your personal pronoun?" This is an open, low-pressure question that allows someone who's in the process of transitioning or has already transitioned to affirm their identity.

You can also do your bit by updating your own pronouns in visible spaces – for example, on social media profiles, or on internal communication platforms, via your IM profile and email signature. Doing this supports trans and non-binary people by normalizing gender identity and expression.

5. Tackle Discrimination and Harassment

Intolerance in the workplace can take the form of overt abuse or microaggressions. Obviously, overt abuse and harassment have no place in the workplace, and a zero-tolerance approach should be taken.

Pinpointing and dealing with microaggressions can be more tricky. According to professor of psychology Dr Kevin L. Nadal, microaggressions are "commonplace verbal, behavioral, or environmental actions that communicate hostility toward oppressed or targeted groups."

They might seem like small things; but, over time, they can have a serious impact on a person's physical and mental wellbeing. Furthermore, ignoring them can serve to perpetuate inequality and undermine inclusion.

Common examples of microaggressions are things like, "You don't look gay," or, "How did you turn gay?" They can also include misgendering, tokenization, failure to acknowledge LGBTQ+ relationships, or exclusion from social groups.

When perpetrators are called out on their behavior, they might qualify it with things like, "You're being oversensitive," or, "I was just joking." This can make it tricky to tackle this kind of behavior. Dr Nadal suggests victims or witnesses ask themselves five questions to help them decide how to respond:

  • If I respond, could my physical safety be in danger?
  • If I respond, will the person become defensive, and will this lead to an argument?
  • If I respond, how will this affect my relationship with this person?
  • If I don't respond, will I regret not saying something?
  • If I don't respond, does that convey that I accept the behavior or statement?

If you do decide to take action, respond assertively rather than aggressively. Calmly talk to the person about how their words and behavior have affected you. Use "I" statements such as, "I think what you just said was very hurtful," instead of attacking statements like, "You're homophobic," which will likely cause the person to become defensive.

Finally, seek support! If you feel that microaggressions are constant and persistent, even when you've done your best to address them, you may need to make a formal complaint to HR. Also, talk to your allies – people who you know to be trustworthy and who will listen to you without judgment. Share with them the emotional impact of the situation and how it's affected you. This can be crucial in allowing you to work through negative feelings that the microaggression has caused, such as low self-confidence or self-worth, anger, and even depression.

Do you know of more ways we can support our LGBTQ+ co-workers? What do you expect from a good ally? You might be interested in the following resources:

Diversity at Work Video
Mutual Respect
Toxic: A Guide to Rebuilding Respect and Tolerance in a Hostile Workplace
The Diversity Bonus: How Great Teams Pay Off in the Knowledge Economy
Understanding the Bystander Effect


Lucy Bishop

About the Author:

Lucy has over 10 years’ experience writing, editing and commissioning content. She has a keen interest in supporting inclusion and diversity, and chairs Mind Tools' neurodiversity panel. Lucy also heads up Mind Tools’ video learning series, and particularly enjoys exploring and experimenting with new video formats. When she’s not producing fantastic new learning content, she can be found enjoying nature with her two kids and delving into the latest book on her very long reading list!

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Mental Health – Let's Get Our Heads Around It https://www.mindtools.com/blog/mental-health/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/mental-health/#comments Mon, 15 May 2023 11:36:50 +0000 http://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=6511 "Mental health issues make people feel uncomfortable. I'm not talking about people who suffer them, I mean the people who don't." - Keith Jackson

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Note: a version of this blog first appeared in 2018. We have since updated it to bring you the best advice.

Mental health issues make people feel uncomfortable. I'm not talking about people who suffer from them – I mean the people who don't. When you don't have any personal experience of poor mental health, it can be – excuse the pun – difficult to get your head around.

If you meet a friend or co-worker hobbling along on crutches, you can immediately sympathize and empathize. You notice and process the clues easily, because you recognize what you see, and understand its likely consequences. And it's possible that you've suffered a similar injury yourself in the past, and almost literally "feel their pain."

But the clues that someone has a mental health issue can be far more difficult to identify and react to.

Chances are, someone with such a condition is doing their best to hide it. They'll forego the opportunity to receive any of that same sympathy and empathy because it's risky. Having anything less than 100 percent good mental health holds a stigma. So it can be tricky to know what to say if someone does confide in you, or if you find out some other way.

Mental Health Is a Battle on Two Fronts

Social awkwardness is unfortunate, but the shame and fear it can lead to can create lasting damage.

People can be extremely reluctant to reveal their mental struggles because of the potential impact on their careers and relationships. And so they fight on two fronts – managing the condition itself and trying to present a "normal" façade to the rest of the world.

I described my own, mercifully short, battle with post-traumatic stress after a serious motorcycle accident in this Mind Tools blog. I still recall the fear I had of talking to anyone – family, friend or work colleague – about that consequence of the crash.

The isolation and sense of worthlessness that many people experience as a result of mental health issues can be devastating, as highlighted by the World Health Organization. The 2022 WHO report reveals that even when help is available, it's not taken up. The authors said, "People will often choose to suffer mental distress without relief rather than risk the discrimination and ostracization that comes with accessing mental health services."

Wellbeing in the Workplace

I like to think that, as individuals, we can overcome our initial awkwardness and confusion at learning that a colleague is facing a health challenge, and that we will be supportive and accepting. After all, isn't this what we need ourselves whenever we're having a tough time?

But can organizations do more to help us all to succeed and thrive at work?

Managers have to balance their responsibilities to their team members and to their organization. And, when it comes to health, these responsibilities need not conflict.

A workplace that's safe, both physically and mentally, and that enables its people to look after themselves and one another, will likely suffer less absenteeism and presenteeism. It will support more honest conversations, and engender more loyalty and trust. And all of these attributes can surely only help the bottom line.

This Mind Tools video explores six ways that organizations, leaders, and managers can support their people's mental health.

Points to Ponder: What Are Your Experiences of Mental Health at Work?

If you've managed someone facing a mental health issue, what strategies did you use? And if you've ever discussed your own mental health with your manager or co-workers, what reaction did you get? What approach does your organization take to mental health, and why?

If you would like to explore Mind Tools resources on mental health, here's a list for further reading:

Personal Financial Stress and Wellbeing
Hurry Sickness
How to Deal With Anxiety
Managing Stress
Managing Post-Traumatic Growth


About the Author:

Keith is a managing editor at Mind Tools and has been part of the content team since 2015. He's an experienced editor, writer and manager, with a long history of working in the e-learning and media industries.

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Gender Equality Vs. Equity – What's the Difference? https://www.mindtools.com/blog/what-is-gender-equity/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/what-is-gender-equity/#respond Fri, 03 Mar 2023 12:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/?p=36909 What's the difference between equality and equity? Jenny Garrett OBE explains why we need to move beyond equality and focus on gender equity instead.

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Guest author Jenny Garrett OBE is an executive coach, leadership trainer, and diversity, equity and inclusion expert. Her latest book is called "Equality vs Equity."

For over a century, women have been striving for equality. To be appreciated for their difference, given the same freedoms and opportunities to contribute and thrive as their male counterparts, and to receive equal pay. Women's suffrage resulted in some women receiving the vote, but that hasn't translated into equality in all areas of life and work.

There's no doubt that progress has been made. Fifty years ago, a woman couldn't wear trousers in the workplace or access birth control. And if she fell pregnant, she had no legal protection from being fired.

Yet progress is slow, and the COVID-19 pandemic set things back for women. Women have always had the double bind of caring and domestic tasks. And, during the pandemic, responsibilities such as homeschooling and elder care disproportionately fell to women. In the same period, layoffs most negatively impacted women-dominated professions. Flexible-working arrangements and work-from-anywhere policies have allowed many women to juggle work with care responsibilities.

But now women have to compete with proximity bias as a result. Because they're not physically present, more women than men are seen as less ambitious, and aren't being considered for career-enhancing opportunities. On top of setbacks like the Roe Vs. Wade overturn, it's easy to see why so many women are feeling disheartened with modern equality progress.

Moving Beyond Equality

In our evolving thinking over the last decade, we've realized that we need to move beyond gender equality – where men and women are treated the same. Instead, we must seek equity, which focuses on giving extra support to those who need it to achieve equal outcomes. This is the exact thinking behind the theme for this year's International Women's Day: "Embrace Equity."

Cartoon man, woman and child on platforms stretch to reach apples from a tree. The first image, representing equality, shows them three platforms of the same height. The platforms that represent equity are vaying heights.
Equality means giving everyone the same support. Equity means appreciating people's unique needs.

There is much we can learn from racial equity and how it has sought to give a helping hand to those from the global majority. (People who are Black, Asian, Brown, dual heritage, indigenous to the global south, and/or have been racialized as "ethnic minorities.") This is achieved by noticing systems that disadvantage people, and by seeking to overcome them. To do so we need to take an individual approach, to lead, share power, and focus on outcomes.

Forward-thinking organizations create flexible-working arrangements for all staff, including those in senior roles, so that carers who work part-time aren't penalized. This way, all can benefit. Representation of women at the top of most organizations is low, but those dedicated to moving the dial on gender balance will have a sponsorship program, formalizing a relationship where a senior leader actively advocates for female talent, opens doors, and "wears her t-shirt." This has been proven to make a positive difference in combating affinity bias, where leaders endorse those in their own image.

Why Is Intersectionality Important?

Some organizations may think the work is done when it comes to gender equality. However, the progress is often unstable, with one or two women recruited into senior roles, and no sustainable pipeline of future talent being nurtured. Or sometimes women are well represented at senior level, but they all come from similar backgrounds. They don't represent all women.

The pioneering scholar and writer Kimberlé Crenshaw describes the need for an intersectional lens so that we see the way various forms of inequality often operate together and exacerbate each other. We tend to talk about gender inequality as separate from inequality based on race, class, sexuality, or immigrant status, but they intersect. Gender-equality initiatives may not take into account the challenges of women due to their ethnic backgrounds, such as accent or cultural discrimination, and stereotypes like being called angry or timid. Crenshaw describes the compound effect of ethnicity and gender as equaling more than the characteristics on their own.

Looking at the intersections can help us to understand where women are falling through the cracks. This includes the experience of Black women, women who identify as having a disability, or those from the LGBTQ+ community. For example, according to ONS data in 2021, the median pay for disabled women was 10.5 percent less than for non-disabled women. Other research has found that older female workers are more likely to remain in a low pay bracket than men. And over half of Black women report never having had an informal conversation with a senior leader at their company, thereby missing out on the opportunity to develop a relationship and receive sponsorship.

Final Thoughts on Gender Equity

Removing the barriers to success for women helps everyone. The more that we explore racial equity and its intersections with gender, the closer we can get to creating gender equality for all women. The goal isn't to just eliminate the gap between white women and women from the global majority, but to increase the success of all groups. Systems that are failing women and failing those from the global majority are actually failing everyone.

Instead of competing in the "Oppression Olympics" and arguing about which groups are more ill-treated, we can aim to understand the solutions that can create a fairer society.

In fact, what if we could hold the view that for everyone to win, no one had to lose? It might radically change things.

What can your workplace do to create fairer opportunities for staff? How does it already support its female workers? You may be interested in the related resources:

Our Separate Ways: Black and White Women and the Struggle for Professional Identity

Unleashed: The Unapologetic Leader's Guide to Empowering Everyone Around You

Bias Interrupted and The End of Bias

Striking the Right Gender Balance Infographic


Jenny Garrett OBE is an executive coach, leadership trainer, and diversity, equity and inclusion expert. Her latest book is "Equality vs Equity: Tackling Issues of Race in the Workplace."

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"I'm Not More or Less: I Just Am" – Emily Ladau on Disability https://www.mindtools.com/blog/not-more-or-less-just-am-emily-ladau-disability/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/not-more-or-less-just-am-emily-ladau-disability/#respond Thu, 02 Mar 2023 11:50:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/?p=37021 "Systemic ableism is shutting people out because we're not actively thinking." Allies can change that, person by person, moment by moment.

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I recently spoke with the disability rights advocate Emily Ladau for a Mind Tools Expert Interview, and she opened my eyes to the ableism that is all around us.

Only the other day I was on a busy train, with very few spare seats. One couple had a surprising amount of space, occupying a table for four, with their bags spread around them. I watched as passenger after passenger walked past that table, their eyes flicking away, rather than asking the pair to move their things.

And, this time, I wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that the man had dwarfism. Could this really be why no one sat with them?

Disability in an Ableist World

Some ableism is systemic, like a lack of accessible infrastructure in schools, offices and transportation hubs. It can also be internalized.

We may talk over a neurodivergent colleague, mistaking a pause for the end of her point. Or avoid someone who looks different on a train, as I witnessed.

According to Ladau, this is about our perception of disability and disabled people – sometimes as superhuman, more commonly as subhuman. But we can change that.

Here’s what she told me, in our interview. (You can stream the audio clip below or download a transcript here.)

To explore these ideas, I’d recommend reading Emily Ladau’s book, "Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally." It’s a clear, nonjudgmental guide to helping make the world a more accessible and inclusive place.

The idea of "allyship" is central to this goal, but what does that really mean?

Emily Ladau's book cover design, comprising a central square panel with the title and subtitle surrounded by about 50 small brightly colored quirky cartoon illustrations of people of all races, genders, ages, and disabilities greeting and chatting, and using a variety of assistance animals and equipment - including Emily herself in her powered chair.
"Demystifying Disability" book cover design

How (Not) to Be a Disability Ally

"We can very easily fall into the trap of looking at it as a title that we give ourselves," Ladau notes. "But… it’s really about taking meaningful action."

In fact, she suggests that we think of the word "ally" as a verb, not a noun, because it’s about doing things, not just talking about it. We should actively educate ourselves, with an open mind, and learn about experiences beyond our own.

Part of that is recognizing that every disabled person is an individual, with a host of different characteristics and support needs. Or, in Ladau’s words, "If you’ve met one disabled person, you’ve met one disabled person."

It's Not About You

If we don’t focus on the individual, we can make all sorts of wrong assumptions that can end up causing problems. We might think we’re being an ally by steering a blind person across a road, or pushing someone’s wheelchair up a slope. But if we’d just asked that person, we might have discovered they didn’t want that. And they may have needed something else. 

So the action allies take must be collaborative, not well-meaning gestures they impose on a person or group. As Ladau points out, doing something for disabled people and working with them are two very different things.  

"In one, you are essentially erasing the very person who you’re claiming to advocate for, whereas when you’re doing things side by side, what you’re doing is you’re amplifying the perspective of the person who you’re trying to be an ally to. And I think it’s essential to recognize that difference."

It’s a mindset shift that can only happen through open conversation. 

Disability Inclusion or Exclusion?

As someone who "navigates the world on wheels," as she puts it, Ladau has had a lifetime of dealing with ableism. I’m still thinking about a particular example from her book – it encapsulates a lot of the issues she’s working to change...

When Ladau was at college, a resident assistant in her dorm was running a disability awareness event. Did this person invite Ladau along to talk with participants about her life on wheels? No. Instead, they asked to borrow Ladau’s wheelchair, so that participants could use it to go around an obstacle course they’d set up in the lounge. 

What was Ladau supposed to do while her expensive mobility equipment – her only means of getting about – was being used like a toy? She declined the request, saddened by this missed opportunity to engage with and educate nondisabled people about her experiences, herself. 

“I remember feeling like less of a person in that moment,” Ladau writes.

"I remember feeling like less of a person in that moment."

Ableism makes people feel like that, as well as causing numerous practical and logistical problems for disabled people as they go about their day-to-day lives. Allies can help change that, person by person, moment by moment. 

Beyond the Infrastructure 

In the workplace, managers can be allies by “creating an environment where people feel safe and welcome to show up as their whole selves at work and to be open about their disability experiences... giving people the space to speak up for what they need to thrive.”

But Ladau concludes, "I want people to understand that allyship is very much a journey and not a destination. 

"You can listen to a podcast episode, you can read an article, you can watch a documentary, you can attend a webinar or have a conversation with a disabled person. But that doesn’t mean that you stop there.  

"My best advice is to keep learning, to keep going, to seek out new resources and new ways to learn and new ways to engage."

The Full Story

You can listen to my full 30-minute interview with Emily Ladau if you're a Mind Tools Club member, or a Mind Tools for Business licensee. You'll hear about her time on iconic children's TV show "Sesame Street" and how being disabled cuts across all other identities. As ever, the audio comes with a full transcript.

If you're not already signed up, join the Mind Tools Club now to gain unlimited access to 2,400+ resources, including our back catalog of 200+ Expert Interviews. Or find out more about Mind Tools for whole organizations, big or small, by contacting our enterprise team.

Meanwhile, catch more excerpts and insights from my guests by searching the Expert Interview blog topic and by signing up to the new Mind Tools Expert Voices podcast.

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Why Is Taking Paternity Leave So Hard? https://www.mindtools.com/blog/why-is-taking-paternity-leave-so-hard/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/why-is-taking-paternity-leave-so-hard/#respond Wed, 23 Nov 2022 12:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/?p=36181 Is paternity leave working? How do new fathers feel about it? I spoke to some parents at Mind Tools to find out.

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In a previous blog post, I spoke with two mums at Mind Tools, about their experiences returning from maternity leave. We explored the difficulties that they faced, and how managers can support them before, during and after their transition back into the workplace.

But what can fathers and same-sex partners do to help new mothers and fathers who are returning to work? And what support should their employers offer?

To Share or Not to Share?

One option in the U.K. is Shared Parental Leave. Different to paternity leave, it allows parents to share up to 50 weeks of leave, and up to 37 weeks of pay between them in the first year after their child is born. This is available to same-sex couples, too.

Mind Tools’ B2C director Mel Dowding and her partner took advantage of Shared Parental Leave, but found that the initiative still needs some fine-tuning.

Mel said, "In a way, we did this on principle because we feel strongly about the opportunity for both parents to have time with their baby, but it was so complicated to set up. And, the same result would have been achieved by my husband taking unpaid leave. It's definitely something that needs reviewing to make it more accessible and meaningful (unsurprisingly there is a low takeup)."

Senior Content Editor Lucy Bishop took maternity leave because her husband was the highest earner in her family. She explained, “My husband would have actually loved to have taken Shared Parental Leave, but, for us, it just didn’t make financial sense, unfortunately. This meant he could only take the basic paternity leave available, which was two weeks at the time we had our first child.

“Luckily, his company increased paternity leave to four weeks (though statutory leave is still two weeks) by the time we had our second child, which, honestly, I still don’t think is enough.

“As any new mum who’s just given birth will tell you, those first few weeks are so tricky to navigate, not just because you are looking after a new baby, but because you’re also physically and emotionally recovering from giving birth yourself.

“I have to admit, even when those four weeks were up, and my husband had to go back to work, there was this impending sense of, 'OK, what do I do now? Now it’s just me and the baby? How am I going to do this all by myself?' The good news is you do (eventually) figure it out.”

Paternity Leave: What the Dads Say

Head of Marketing: Nick Payne
Head of Marketing: Nick Payne

So now we’ve heard from the mums, what do dads think about paternity leave? Is it really enough? I spoke to two fathers at Mind Tools to investigate further.

Nick Payne, Head of Marketing, recalled, "The first three weeks, as first-time parents, were chaos. It felt like you were stuck in a washing machine trying to work out which way was up! You're dealing with a completely life-changing event, learning completely new skills, all on zero hours' sleep.

“Having those three weeks off gave us the opportunity to try and establish a base way of doing things, learn new skills, and, more importantly, enjoy bonding as a family without the pressures of work. I don't understand how people manage without those initial few weeks!"

Head of Research: Gent Ahmetaj
Head of Research: Gent Ahmetaj

Head of Research, Gent Ahmetaj, pointed out that "early childhood development is critical, so having both parents there makes a huge difference."

He also said that those first weeks are "…a chance to help your spouse as much as you possibly can. They have been doing the heavy lifting so far – give them a break!"

Two Weeks' Paternity Leave Is Not Enough!

Clearly, paternity leave is key to ensuring a smooth start for new parents (or as smooth as possible given that there’s now a new baby in the house).

Both Nick and Gent took three weeks of paternity leave under Emerald's current leave policy. Gent explained, "Initially I thought I could only take two weeks, but our People team highlighted that the company provides three – I was super happy to hear that! I didn't extend it, but, looking back, I wish I took a further week or so to help my wife.”

Both Nick and Gent said that paternity leave should be longer. "I think a month would be fantastic," Nick told me. Gent was a little more ambitious: "If there is a chance to increase paternity leave from three weeks to something more like three months, that would just change everything!"

Paternity Leave Is Falling

Despite most agreeing that paternity leave is crucial bonding time, the number of eligible fathers who took it fell to less than a third in 2021. However, steady numbers in previous years suggest this may have been down to the pandemic.

Nick agrees with this assumption. He said, "The main benefit of paternity leave is to be at home and be able to help at a very stressful and busy time. If someone is already at home working, new parents may feel that they don't need paternity leave. However, I would strongly argue against this, as it's also a time to be bonding as a family."

Gent also pointed out that "the pandemic brought on an economic crisis, so men might have thought they are at risk of redundancy if they took paternity leave."

Similarly, Nick identified an inequality in pay. He said, "Shared paternity/maternity leave is something that is becoming more common and popular, allowing fathers to take additional paternity leave to allow the mother to return to work earlier, but this is often not paid the same as maternity leave, so ensuring these are treated equally would be fantastic to see."

John Taylor, of EMW Law, puts the poor take-up of paternity leave down to "the extremely low level of pay available under the scheme." And, Professor of Sociology at Oxford Brookes University, Tina Miller, found that "society isn't built for men to lead in care" because many fathers "can't afford to not work while [they're] having [their] first child."

The Stigma of Paternity Leave

Tina Miller's interviewee points out that, in most cases, men are still the breadwinners, so when one parent needs to return to work, it will most likely be the father. However, this often perpetuates the image of women as the "natural caregivers." And, assuming they don't get regular childcare from family, it also means that mothers must take a longer period of time away from work to raise their child. As a result, we see fewer men as primary caregivers than we do women, and so the cycle continues.

Nick also highlighted that there is still a stigma around men taking paternity leave, "especially amongst older generations.” He said, "It's seen as normal 'time off' and there's a misconception that you're not really doing anything to help anyway. But this view feels extremely outdated now, as parents share responsibilities much more than previously."

Nick's beliefs are loudly echoed by a recent CIPD report. Out of 631 working fathers, 73 percent felt that "there's a stigma attached to taking extended paternity leave." Almost all respondents felt that "workplace culture needs to be transformed to normalize men taking extended paternity leave."

What's the Solution?

It's likely that if paternity and/or shared parental leave offered better pay, more men would be inclined to take it. They wouldn't feel financial pressure to return to work so quickly after the birth of their baby, and this would make it easier for their partners to return to work sooner as well (if they wished to). Naturally, this would help them to feel more confident during the transition.

Some companies already offer equal parental leave. Natwest, for example, announced that, from 2023, all parents – irrespective of gender – will be able to take a whole year off to raise their child. Half of this time would be fully paid.

So, while there is still a way to go to perfect paternity leave, clearly it is possible.

Are you a working father who took paternity leave? What changes to your company's policy would you like to see? Let us know in the comments below!

© Original artwork from Anna Montgomery.

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Inclusive Inclusivity – #MTtalk Roundup https://www.mindtools.com/blog/inclusive-inclusivity-mttalk-roundup/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/inclusive-inclusivity-mttalk-roundup/#comments Tue, 11 Oct 2022 11:30:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=33492 In order to achieve true inclusivity, we first have to adopt an inclusive mindset

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Even with the best of intentions, creating an inclusive workplace doesn't happen by accident. In striving for inclusion, leaders may find it useful to ask themselves, and their employees, whether everyone understands their role in building an inclusive environment. They may also want to find out whether staff feel they can call out and challenge exclusionary behavior.

While the answers given may highlight some uncomfortable truths, it's important to know if people are supported to be themselves, and whether opportunities to contribute and develop are truly open to all.

What Is "Inclusive Inclusivity?"

Being inclusive allows everyone to feel valued and accepted without having to conform to a particular organizational norm. Inclusive organizations support their staff to do their best work, regardless of background, circumstance or culture.

And importantly, inclusion is about valuing difference, rather than merely tolerating it. It's about creating a positive environment where everyone can contribute.

In preparing for the upcoming #MTtalk Twitter chat, Community Manager Yolande Conradie coined the phrase "inclusive inclusivity" to capture the idea that, to be truly inclusive, we must make sure that we're inclusive of absolutely everyone, regardless of culture, circumstance or background.

The term comes from the observation that, sometimes, well-intentioned efforts to include particular groups or individuals can inadvertently exclude others.

Adopting an Inclusive Mindset

In order to achieve true inclusivity, we first have to adopt an inclusive mindset. When we detect an imbalance in the workforce, it may be tempting to adopt strategies that will tip the scales back.

However, not only could this approach unintentionally alienate other team members, but even the very groups we're aiming to support may feel patronized.

Instead of surface-level fixes, we need to get to the root of the issue and embed inclusivity into organizational values and behaviors.

Sonia Harris
Mind Tools Coach and co-author, Sonia Harris

Inclusivity In Action

How Inclusive Are Your Events?

U.S.-based Mind Tools Coach, Sonia Harris, is an event manager, and has been reflecting on what inclusive inclusivity looks like for those with disabilities. Following an event, Sonia suggests getting feedback from attendees who use wheelchairs or who are visually or hearing impaired. This will ensure that efforts to be inclusive translate into reality.

Sonia believes that planning is essential for achieving genuine inclusion at events. For example, when conducting a site inspection for a future meeting and event space, Sonia offers the following planning considerations:

  • Can wheelchair users and those who have audio or visual impairments easily get to and from the venue?
  • Once they've arrived, can they smoothly transition between the indoor and outdoor event spaces?
  • How far is the main event space from elevators and wheelchair-accessible restrooms?
  • Are entranceways and restroom stalls wide enough to accommodate a wheelchair?
  • Will sign language interpretation and closed captioning be available during sessions of your in-person or online event?
  • Do the main session and breakout rooms have enough unobstructed, comfortable space at the front for wheelchair users or those who are visually or hearing impaired?

Celebrating Diversity

Sarah Harvey Mind Tools
Mind Tools Coach and co-author, Sarah Harvey

U.K.-based Mind Tools Coach, Sarah Harvey, shares an example of inclusive inclusivity in action. As a previous non-executive board member for a mental health and wellbeing charity based in London, Sarah reflects on her experience of working in a diverse and inclusive organization.

Their clients have a broad spectrum of complex mental and physical health needs, combined with different personal circumstances, educational backgrounds, and cultural diversity. And this broad range of diversity was reflected in the staff and volunteers.

Such contrasts could have been a recipe for clashes, conflict and chaos. Yet the inclusive inclusivity was clear to see in every conversation, every decision-making process, and every meeting, Sarah says.

Despite their differences, everyone was expected to show up and share all that made them their unique selves, while recognizing the importance of celebrating how other people showed up, too.

Inclusion in the Workplace

Inclusion is more than a set of policies or procedures. It's about our individual and collective experience of our work. It's about creating positive workplaces or environments where we can all influence, share our ideas and expertise, and have our unique perspectives valued.

Yolande sums up how we can all achieve inclusive inclusivity by asking the following question:

"It's important to me to respect your culture as well as my own. How can we accomplish that?"

To achieve inclusive inclusivity, it needs to sit at the heart of what we do, drive our thinking, and guide our behavior at all times.

In our Twitter poll, we asked our followers how they define inclusivity. The overwhelming majority voted that inclusivity is "When everybody belongs."

Exploring Inclusive Inclusivity

During Friday's #MTtalk Twitter chat, we discussed the importance of active mindfulness to ensure no one is excluded.  Here are all the questions we asked, and some of the best responses: 

Q1. What does "inclusivity" mean to you? 

@DreaVilleneuve It's more than creating a seat at the table, it's raising the voices of those who have joined. 

@Yolande_MT Inclusivity: to treat people in such a way that they don't feel they have to "earn" it to belong. Inclusivity isn't a tick-box exercise. It comes from the heart and it's all about how we treat people and how we include them from day to day. 

Q2. When have you felt most included at work, and what made the difference? 

@_GT_Coaching In the past, when values felt like they were aligned with others.  Now, I can personally choose to feel included based on how I create it. 

@PmTwee It makes [me] feel satisfied and thus more productive. 

@Dwyka_Consult I felt most accepted when my workplace supported me through a very tough time – even though I was only 50 percent there (mentally). Everybody understood and offered to help. 

Q3. What do organizations risk by not becoming more inclusive? 

@_GT_Coaching Lots, but one thing that really shows up for me is a lack of creativity.  

@DreaVilleneuve Inclusive environments bring diversity, diversity brings new ideas, different problem solving, alternate viewpoints. Without being inclusive, you risk growth potential and stagnation. 

Q4. What are possible barriers to creating a more inclusive workplace? 

@NWarind Nepotism; favouritism; bullying; perks and privileges to higher tiers but no trickledown effects. 

@_GT_Coaching People's personal filters and understanding of how a situation occurs for them. 

Q5. How can we distinguish between real inclusivity and token inclusivity? 

@DreaVilleneuve It's the "B" in DEIB [Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, Belonging]. Belonging. Real inclusion makes way for all people to feel as they are welcomed, valued, and important to the team/ organization. 

@PmTwee When you fail to see consistency, truth will out. 

Q6. What small things can anyone do to include others? 

@NWarind Be open-minded and consult. As all have intelligence, let them share and feel the burden of responsibility. 

@_GT_Coaching I can be mindful of how I am being plus recognize my own inauthenticity and biases. 

Q7. How can we include one person's values/ culture without ignoring or excluding someone else's/ our own? 

@MikeB_MT Including someone's culture shouldn't mean I have to exclude someone else's. It's that richness of seeking to include and understand all different perspectives and cultures that truly starts to build a culture of inclusiveness and belonging. 

@DreaVilleneuve By celebrating it all, by giving space to differences, by making changes they show that all are welcome. 

Q8. Does being inclusive mean accepting everything around you? Please explain. 

@Eve_odhis Yes and being able to say no politely and with a lot of love and respect for whatever you are disagreeing with. We are all different thus the beauty of diversity and power of inclusivity. We have to acknowledge our differences, accept them, and communicate them with love. 

@Dwyka_Consult No – and I've learned not to just "accept" my own thoughts. Sometimes, in certain situations, I must treat them with suspicion because they want to "steer" me to what's comfortable, not what's necessary. 

Q9. What does it mean to have an "inclusive mindset"? 

@ZalaB_MT "Inclusive mindset" means less judging and more listening, learning, searching; having a bend-able mindset (a term coined by @MikeB_MT) allows me curiosity and openness towards the unknown; empathy; and understanding that together we can be stronger. 

@Eve_odhis For me it means being true first to yourself then to the world by deliberately learning about others, their way of life and appreciating it. One thing I continue to learn is that, not knowing actually is a driver to exclusion. When you do not understand how and why, you'll tend to be blinded by your own biases. 

Q10. What action will you take to nurture an inclusive environment? 

@PmTwee Give a thought and practice mindfulness. 

@_GT_Coaching Engage in conversations about the subject to develop my understanding. For now, continue to be detached from my beliefs, which means I can accept the beliefs of others as being important to them. Continue to seek feedback on how I show up to others. 

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet Collection of this chat

Coming Up on #MTtalk

Responsible leaders work to ensure each team member has a place and feels included. Good parents guide their children in a similar way.

During our next chat we're going to talk about the changing perspectives of parenting and work. In our Twitter poll this week we'd like to know which parenting skills you utilize at work. 

Resource Links to Help You Prepare

(Note that you will need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full.)

Putting Your Parenting Skills to Work

Parents Who Lead

Can You Be a Good Leader and a Good Parent?

Combining Parenthood and Work

How to Juggle Caregiving Responsibilities and Work

The Life Career Rainbow

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Armchair Psychology at Work – Thought of the Day https://www.mindtools.com/blog/armchair-psychology-at-work/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/armchair-psychology-at-work/#respond Mon, 10 Oct 2022 11:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=33500 Labels can be hurtful, especially if the "diagnosis" is a mental illness. We share our thoughts and experiences with armchair psychology

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Armchair psychology is when someone without any relevant experience or qualifications gives you mental illness advice. Often, they think they're helping, but in reality, their "diagnoses" can be damaging.

I was reminded of this issue a couple of years ago, and decided to share my observations in the Mind Tools Forum. I asked my fellow coaches and Mind Tools members to share their thoughts and experiences, too. Here's our discussion.

Playing Armchair Psychologist

Some of you will know that I teach a leadership course at the business school of a university. My students are all adults who have been working for at least five years, and they take this course to prepare them for more senior management positions.

During one of our group discussions last year, John X told us how he had learned to handle situations with his senior manager – a "difficult" person.

One of the other students who worked for the same company piped up and said, "John's boss is a psychopath." When I asked her whether he's been diagnosed, and if so, how she knows about the diagnosis, she looked nonplussed.

The truth is, she didn't know. Yet she used a very strong term to describe him – and she believed her own story!

Everyone's an Expert

Over the last few years, we've all become more aware of mental health issues. We also have access to the internet 24 hours a day to find information about anything that piques our interest.

What is worrying is that people read a few articles on the internet about a mental disorder, and suddenly they are experts – especially on psychopathy, narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder. They also use terms that they misunderstand to describe someone else's behavior, and in doing so participate in spreading incorrect information and ideas.

Even if a person has read a hundred articles on the internet, that still doesn't make them an expert. They still haven't studied for five or six years, didn't do practicals and didn't write a licensing exam.

Here's the honest truth: most of us have some characteristics in common with Hare's Psychopathy checklist (lying, lacking empathy, playing the victim, impulsive behavior, sexual promiscuity... the list goes on) but that doesn't make all of us psychopaths.

Language Around Mental Health

My story particularly resonated with one of our Forum members, GoldenBoy. He responded: "Yolande, you certainly know how to speak to a guy's heart...

"Some of you'll know that I struggle with mental health. I grew up with the language you describe here, used as normal communication in everyday life. I have found that armchair psychologists are generally fairly insecure and use the language to defend themselves against something they don't understand.

"Through the years, I have observed language change to be less offensive, but the ideology behind the defensive behavior remains.

"I have been a victim of armchair psychology (for example, being told "you're mental!"). My strategy today is to ask them how they achieved that diagnosis, I tell them that I will pass their observations on to my psychologist, as he appears to have missed something. (Sarcasm was also strong in my youth.)"

Like GoldenBoy, if people make random comments in a conversation about psychological disorders, I usually question them about their comments. My intent is not to put people down because they're not qualified and I am, but rather to make them think about what it is they're saying and how damaging it can be.

But to be honest, I think GoldenBoy's sarcastic tactic is justified.

Labeling Can Be Destructive

Mind Tools Coach, Michele, chimed in with her thoughts: "Labeling people, whether it is indiscriminately tagging someone with a mental illness or typecasting someone based on some form of assessment (Myers Briggs, Hermann Whole Brain, Hogan, etc.) appears to have a common root cause; it is a way to diminish or marginalize someone."

The instruments that Michele mentions can be useful, but they have to be taught and facilitated correctly. I often use the NBI in my classes. One of my rules is that it must be a safe space for everybody. That includes never using an outcome as a label, a reason to tease or bully someone, or to put them down.

Sadly, Michele experienced first-hand how damaging it can be when these labels are used to diminish someone:

"When people are insecure and fearful, othering someone is a protective strategy. It props up the ego and reduces the threat. I'll give an example from my own experience.

"Earlier in my career, we administered the Herrmann Whole Brain assessment to the leadership team at an offsite. The Herrmann instrument assesses your brain dominance – right or left-brained. The result of the assessment produces a graphic image and shows where you fall in four quadrants.

"I am off the scale upper right (D quadrant) meaning that I am highly cerebral and synergistic. At the end of the offsite, the team gathered in a circle. The facilitator asked us to choose someone in the circle and share something they learned about the person during the course of the offsite. When I was chosen, the person started off with: "Well, Michele is a ditsy "D" and this explains everything I need to know about her." You can probably imagine how I felt at that moment. I was categorized as scatterbrained in front of the leadership team. This is an example of how quickly people can label and marginalize someone.

"Applying mental illness or psychological labels to people amps up the potential for harm. GoldenBoy's experience describes so well how destructive labels can be."

Don't Diagnose – Learn and Support

So what can people do instead to be more inclusive and to show more care?

Michele believes the first step is to educate oneself. She added, "Approaching a situation with openness and curiosity to understand what's behind the other's thinking is a good one. It provides an opportunity to educate. This said, having to educate someone about their uninformed thinking can be trying. I hope that in the near future, awareness around mental illness becomes mainstream so that those on the receiving end of armchair psychology don't have to adopt the role of educator."

Forum user, April, added her thoughts. She said, "Armchair psychology is something that makes me intensely uncomfortable – especially if the "diagnosis" is followed up by a "you must" statement. Or even worse, "You must just..." If it was that easy, we'd all be perfectly healthy people!

"It's easy to label people or to make them feel othered. It's a bit more difficult and time-consuming to support them in a healthy and mature way."

"It takes mindfulness and empathy to embrace them for whoever they are today.

"It's easy to be dismissive. It's harder work to be caring."

Have you ever experienced armchair psychology? Or do you have other stories to share about people being labeled? We'd love to hear from you in the comments below!

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"Don't Call Me Senior!" Susan Wilner Golden on Age, Work and Product Design https://www.mindtools.com/blog/age-work-product-design-expert-interview-susan-wilner-golden/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/age-work-product-design-expert-interview-susan-wilner-golden/#respond Thu, 29 Sep 2022 11:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=33436 "Stop thinking of all older adults as just one type of person. It's more important to think about what stage of life they're in."

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Old age... Imagine an 80-year-old man. Is he sitting in an assisted-living facility, dozing off in front of the TV, legs covered with a blanket? Is he playing soccer with his grandchildren? Or is he chairing a board meeting at a Fortune 500 company?

It's remarkable that, these days, each of these visions is as likely as the others, because people are living for longer and in very different ways. Some of us decline over decades. Others stay fit until the end.

Personal financial insecurity may dictate that people remain in (or return to) the workplace later in life, or it could be a creative passion that keeps them involved. Either way, they're consumers too, equating to a potential $22 trillion market worldwide.

The nuances – and opportunities – of this diverse picture aren't lost on Susan Wilner Golden, a former venture capitalist who now leads a program on the business implications of longevity at Stanford Business School.

She recently brought some of her ideas together in a new book, "Stage (Not Age)." In this clip from my Expert Interview podcast with Susan, she explains what's behind that title.

Breaking Age Stereotypes

Shakespeare wrote of "the seven ages of man." Wilner Golden believes it's more like 18 stages.

Some of them, like caregiving and formal education, may come around a few times in one life. And everyone will experience their stages differently.

"The key is to stop thinking of all older adults as just one type of person," she says. "It's much more important to think about what stage of life they're in. Are they in their repurposed stage, a new renaissance stage?"

Yet the idea that all older people are alike remains stubbornly prevalent in the business world.

"You can look at a lot of advertising and marketing toward older adults. It often portrays people as one type of person, which is frail. Somebody's holding their hand. And that maybe is needed, but that's not true for everybody," she points out.

Opportunities of Age

The "old person" stereotypes may be outdated, but older people still have specific needs, as they move from one stage to another. This is where the business opportunities lie.

Portrait of Expert Interview host Rachel Salaman
Rachel Salaman, Mind Tools Expert Interview podcast host

Take communication as an example. My aunt Kate has struggled to use smartphones since she first got one. That isn't unusual among her peers. They came to the digital world later in life than others.

The irony is that the model Aunt Kate struggled with the most claimed to be designed for older people. That's why she picked it.

I remember trying to help her perform simple functions such as text and search, but I failed. The icons were large, so they were easy to see, but they weren't standard or intuitive. And when I touched them, they didn't take me where I was expecting.

The designers had set out with a good business idea aimed at serving this large, growing, and often wealthy segment of the population. But they'd ended up with a device that did the opposite of what it promised. It increased stress and a sense of inadequacy among its target users.

Wilner Golden has a simple tip for companies looking to serve older people in the right way: create intergenerational teams.

As well as increasing the likelihood of producing something truly useful, it may give new purpose to the older employees involved, who might otherwise feel like they're counting down to retirement.

Don't Assume – Include!

If an older person had helped design Aunt Kate's phone, perhaps the icons would have been familiar, just a little larger or brighter than usual. Wilner Golden calls such tweaks "stealth features." And the navigation pathways would have matched those of mainstream models. Not everything has to change.

"Having someone to design with, rather than for, is the mantra in the field," Wilner Golden says, "because you may not know what the needs and wants of an older adult are, but your older employees may well."

This applies equally to younger employees. Your millennial and Gen Z team members can bring valuable insight into product design for their peer groups, too. It's all about working well together, regardless of age.

Indeed, for Wilner Golden, "engaging intergenerational opportunities" is the "secret sauce" for companies and individuals looking to win in our changing world.

"We cannot be an age-segregated society," she believes. "To integrate more would be wonderfully powerful going forward."

A Strategy for Older Age Inclusion

Mind Tools Club members and Mind Tools for Business licensees can listen to or read my full 30-minute interview with Susan Wilner Golden, in which she discusses her work with students aged 50-80, the imperative to build digital literacy across generations, and which companies are leading the way in inclusion for older employees and customers alike.

If you're not already signed up, join the Mind Tools Club now to gain access to 2,400+ resources, including our back catalog of 200+ Expert Interviews. And to find out more about Mind Tools' enterprise solutions, you can book a demo.

When Will You Retire?

Do you love your work too much to leave, or has financial insecurity forced you to return? What product would you like to see redesigned so that you could use it into later life? Share your experiences in the Comments, below!

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Let's Talk About Neurodiversity – #MTtalk Roundup https://www.mindtools.com/blog/neurodiversity-twitter-talk/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/neurodiversity-twitter-talk/#comments Tue, 27 Sep 2022 11:01:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=32842 Understanding that different people have different "wiring" can help us all, neurotypical and neurodivergent, to embrace fresh thinking

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Neurodiversity is nothing new. Recently, one of our team members told me about her late father who was on what some people refer to as the autism spectrum.

He was brilliant at math and his memory was like an encyclopedia, yet he had difficulty remembering his way home from downtown, which was only a 10-minute drive. He lived, worked and had a family long before the word "neurodiversity" was coined, and in those days people simply thought he was odd, a perception reinforced by the infamous Rain Man stereotype.

The term "neurodiversity" made its first appearance more than 20 years ago. It was coined by Judy Singer in her honors thesis, published in 1999. But having a name doesn't make something less complex, or easier to identify.

Different Wiring, Different Language

Understanding the fact that different people have different "wiring" can help us all, neurotypical and neurodivergent alike, to embrace those who see things differently from ourselves. This is crucial for our comprehension of real inclusion and accessibility, where we see human potential instead of a ticked box.

Mind Tools coach Zala Bricelj

Alongside my work as a Mind Tools coach, I'm a workshop facilitator and coach for inclusive and innovative teaching in schools, educational organizations, and non-profit organizations in Slovenia and across Europe. And one of the main things I've learned from collaborating throughout my career is that each person experiences neurodiversity differently – and has their own language for it.

That's why it's important that organizations create an inclusive culture that talks about and encompasses neurodiversity in all its forms – be it traits that are present from birth (and develop later in childhood and adolescence) or acquired through, for example, brain trauma.

Working With Neurodiversity

I still vividly remember working with one of my students – let's call him Jimmy. He came to me because he was neurodivergent and needed individual help and support with his studies.

Jimmy had immense knowledge of specific topics and subjects, but he struggled with language. In particular, he wasn't great with idioms – they were "alien" to him, he often said.

On one occasion he couldn't stop thinking about the phrase "Are you pulling my leg?" because it felt nonsensical to him. He kept asking why somebody would pull his leg if they were teasing or joking. It was hard for him because he took things at face value, and the figurative nature of everyday language is something that still bothers him today.

In one of our early lessons, we'd been working for an hour and he'd been doing his exercises diligently. At the end of the lesson, I asked Jimmy what he thought of it, and he said that it was OK, but my writing was terrible. It was illegible, he said, and I really needed to work on it.

I paused for a moment (in reality, I wanted to laugh), but because I knew him, I understood what he meant. Jimmy couldn't focus on the content of our lesson because I hadn't accommodated what he needed. So he got distracted and couldn't engage with me as he usually did. It made me more aware of what I needed to be mindful of when collaborating with him.

Embracing Neurodiversity

Not everyone can, or should have to try, to fit seamlessly into the traditional classroom or workplace.

Most schools still require students to sit, listen, pay constant attention, and go at the same pace as the rest of the class. If a student can't do this, it can become a stressful and humiliating game of "cat and mouse," with the teacher trying to mold the student to fit the "norm."

Neurodiversity can be accompanied by other physical or mental challenges that make everyday tasks harder still, but society's beliefs and attitudes play a major role, too. As I think about accommodating my students with neurodiversity, I'm reminded that they are working hard to accommodate their peers – and me – every day!

"The only disability is when people can not see human potential"

Debra Ruh, Founder of TecAccess

Increasingly, workplaces are recognizing that neurodiversity can bring new and valuable strengths and skills that teams would otherwise lack. And we can all create the building blocks for a better environment.

The main one is to be more open, understanding, and accepting of difference. Consider how each difference can contribute to the overall success, unity and uniqueness of a team.

These are skills that you don't learn as a part of the curriculum, but you need them every day in a classroom, learning group – or workplace.

Pieces of a Puzzle?

As I learn about neurodiversity, it's helped me to think of myself and the students or colleagues I work with as puzzle pieces. We're irregularly shaped but complete human beings, getting on with our lives and work – all of us an integral part of the full picture.

I've seen students thrive when given opportunities tailored to their needs, when we're accommodating of uniqueness, and when we put our energy into building the self-esteem of students, rather than labeling their difference.

(The term "neurodivergent" has become contentious exactly because it highlights difference and can imply "othering" or condemnation. But for some of the people it refers to, it is simply a statement of objective fact, while for others it is a proud badge of identity.)

As educators and employers, we have a choice – we can see people with ADHD, autism, dyslexia or dyspraxia as different or, worse, difficult. Or, we can see their potential, and their neurodiversity, as an advantage, and ensure they have the opportunity to thrive.

Neurodiversity and the Workplace

Workplaces that embrace neurodiversity allow employees to work and achieve goals in their own way.

All structures and processes in the organization need adjusting to embrace neurodiversity. Recruitment, retention and training all require the championing of neurodiversity.

The recruitment process often screens out neurodiverse people. The traditional traits of a "good hire," such as presentation and writing skills, emotional intelligence, persuasiveness, teamwork, and the ability to network easily can be the very things that neurodiverse people struggle with.

Those who think differently might get overlooked by hiring managers. We need to mitigate against this.

This starts with facilitating workplace adjustments, such as allowing more time for tasks, reorganizing workspaces (setting up quiet areas, for example, or providing noise-canceling headphones), and offering assistive technology.

Next comes communication in a suitable format, regular one-on-one conversations, and a focus on digital inclusion in the workplace.

Let's Talk About Neurodiversity 

During Friday's #MTtalk Twitter chat, we asked neurodivergent and neurotypical people to share from their lived experience. Here are all the questions we asked, and some of the best responses: 

Q1. What does "neurodiversity" mean to you?

@NWarind Respecting each other's opinions; all are intelligent. 

@ZalaB_MT Neurodiversity to me means we're expanding the norms and expectations of "normalcy". We see, perceive and accept neurodivergent people with their whole skillset (where they excel and where they struggle) and help them thrive with what they can bring to the table.

Q2. Why is it important to talk about neurodiversity in the workplace?

@DrSupriya_MT Gone are the days when we believed not to talk about different and difficult topics. Talking is important, as it will help to clear myths and bring clarity. 

@SoniaH_MT It's important to talk about neurodiversity in the workplace because some people have grown up applying stigmas or stereotypes. Better practices and acceptance in the workplace can help combat those stigmas or stereotypes. 

Q3. What's the most important thing you've learned about neurodiversity at work, and how did you learn it/who from?

@DreaVilleneuve I have three neurodivergent young folks, two still at home. What I have learned is that every one of them is different, to meet them where they are. Different thought processing is eye-opening and insightful when you listen. 

@MikeB_MT Being open, aware, understanding. By being open to the diverse ways people experience work and the world, I'm learning. Taking the approach of empathy and active listening truly builds understanding and relationships. 

Q4. In what ways might a workplace impact its neurodiverse employees, negatively or positively?

@DrSupriya_MT It's still a long way as we are obsessed with normal and being same. The investment of time and effort to create space for such employees is not common. 

@DreaVilleneuve From the physical – open spaces, flickering lights, to communication, which is not one size, fits all, to work styles that need specific accommodations, employers should always work with the employee to assess optimum environments. A small change can impact all. 

Q5. What's the potential impact of more neurodiverse people in the workplace? Why?

@MikeB_MT Creativity and productivity blossom. Each member of the team grows in their knowledge and understanding. Team spirit improves. Teams, live, breathe, evolve. Neurodiverse team members will only help this.

@J_Stephens_CPA It was amazing seeing this in the young Cub Scouts I had the privilege of leading when my youngest son was involved. That was well before the term neurodiversity was around, but they came up with so many creative ideas over the past 15 years.

@greatergoodgeek The more diverse a workplace is – the richer the experiences and outcomes can be. Everyone has unique gifts and talents to share. 

Q6. What has helped you and your colleagues to understand one another better and bridge any neurotypical/neurodivergent divide?

@ZalaB_MT It's OK to say, "I don't know" or "I haven't experienced 'xyz' before." Let's find a way to learn more about it, let's find resources and people who can help us, lead the way, and offer assistance. A lot of discomfort still stems from NOT KNOWING. 

@DrSupriya_MT I read somewhere that etiquette is care and common sense! Create safe spaces to talk and ask questions.

Q7. What's the best way for someone without lived experience of neurodiversity to find out the needs of their neurodiverse colleagues? 

@greatergoodgeek Hmm – I don't know what the best way is... but I imagine that someone without lived experiences might try to learn as much as possible first. (reading, workshops...) After that – if appropriate – some guided conversations might happen later. 

@Yolande_MT Simply ask, "How would you prefer ______ " or "What would be comfortable to you when we _______?" 

Q8. How could hiring practices be changed to recruit and retain more neurodiverse people?

@DreaVilleneuve I could write a book (or look up my TEDx talk). Expectations around eye contact, dress, and how answers are formulated. Interviews from walking to informal to working. Understanding accommodations. Drop stereotypes. 

@SarahH_MT Involving neurodiverse people on the recruitment panel would be a great start. This should include being involved with interview questions, tests, etc. Consider neurodiversity in the induction process, too.

Q9. What else can organizations do to be more inclusive of neurodiversity?

@SarahH_MT I'd want to create an inclusive, safe culture where it is OK to openly discuss neurodiversity and would ask staff who are neurodiverse what they need from the organization. I am keen to hear what other people suggest on this though; I honestly am not sure what else. 

@Yolande_MT Customize your onboarding processes: create a buddy system that gives a neurodivergent person a trusted support person. Have decompression spaces where people can go when they feel overwhelmed or overstimulated. Make the physical environment as comfortable and inclusive as possible. Give people spaces where they can think, work and create in a way that will benefit them and the organization. 

Q10. What does great advocacy for neurodiversity involve and how will you put this into practice in your workplace?

@Dwyka_Consult Don't just include people – you run the risk of token-inclusion / window-dressing. Let people BELONG. 

@SoniaH_MT Great advocacy for neurodiversity involves first educating yourself, then understanding what you've learned, applying what you've learned, and correcting previous practices moving forward. 

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection.

Coming Up

We'd be remiss to talk about neurodiversity and not follow it up with a conversation about inclusivity.

During our next chat, we're going to talk about more than inclusivity though we'll be discussing "inclusive inclusivity." In our Twitter poll this week, we'd like to know what you think inclusivity is.

Blog Resource Links

Note that you will need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full. 

Managing a Person With ADHD 

Empathy at Work 

Overwhelmed at Work 

How to Manage a Person With Dyslexia 

Managing Highly Sensitive People 

Neurodiversity at Work 

Managing People With Autistic Spectrum Disorder 

Managing Perfectionists 

Managing Unsociable People 

Managing Gifted People 

How to Juggle Caregiving Responsibilities and Work 

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Pride Month – What It Is and What It Isn't https://www.mindtools.com/blog/pride-month-what-it-is-and-what-it-isnt/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/pride-month-what-it-is-and-what-it-isnt/#respond Wed, 22 Jun 2022 12:01:56 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=31847 June is Pride Month in the U.K., U.S. and Australia. Since 1970, Pride parades have advocated for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans rights and freedom of expression. Now, they also give a voice to queer, intersex and asexual/aromantic/agender people, too. (These make up the full acronym, LGBTQIA+). As a privileged queer woman, I recently began […]

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June is Pride Month in the U.K., U.S. and Australia. Since 1970, Pride parades have advocated for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans rights and freedom of expression. Now, they also give a voice to queer, intersex and asexual/aromantic/agender people, too. (These make up the full acronym, LGBTQIA+).

As a privileged queer woman, I recently began to wonder what all the fuss is about. Haven't we reached equal rights by now? And isn't condensing the entirety of LGBTQ+ history into one month a year a bit reductive? After all, it's not like LGBTQ+ people exist only during the month of June!

But recent events demonstrate that we do indeed still need a Pride Month. Here, I explore what Pride Month is today, what it means for my colleagues, as well as why we still need it more than 50 years after the first Pride riots.

Why Do We Still Need Pride Month?

While it may seem like we have reached total equality in the U.K., U.S. and Australia, LGBTQ+ people still experience many injustices in these countries.

Earlier this year, the U.K. Government failed to include transgender people in its ban on conversion therapy. In the U.S., multiple states are considering a "Don't Say Gay" bill to restrict schools from discussing gender identity and sexual orientation until after third grade. And earlier this month, an Australian journalist attempted to "out" actress and comedian Rebel Wilson. With cases like these in the headlines, it's easy to feel like we're taking two steps back with each step forward.

Clearly, we still need Pride Month in order to tackle these barriers to freedom and equality.

In the words of Mind Tools Coach, Mike Barzacchini, "The ability to be who you are and to love who you love should be fundamental. To me, Pride Month means both celebrating and advancing those freedoms. And never taking them for granted."

Celebration, Visibility and Education

Pride started out as a series of riots in 1969. After police raided a New York City gay bar (the Stonewall Inn) in the early hours of June 28, neighboring residents fought back. The following six days consisted of violent protests and clashes with the police.

These riots were pivotal in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights and safe spaces.

Now, Pride is more of a celebration for the community, and a chance to look back on all that has been achieved since then. Though the hard work isn't over yet!

As Senior Web Content Manager, Kevin Wiltshire, points out, "I celebrate Pride to recognize that we've achieved so much; to acknowledge the people who got us here and who continue to work for acceptance and equality; and, importantly, to call to mind that there are places where, not only is Pride not possible, but also dangerous just being LGBTQ+. They can't be visible, so I must."

Mind Tools Writer/Editor Melanie Bell feels a similar way. She says, "Pride Month is important for acknowledging the progress that's been made toward securing rights for the LGBTQ+ community and fighting for those rights that are still absent, threatened, or uncertain.

"It's about more than that, too: it's about being recognized for an important aspect of who you are and finding community in this. It's also about recognizing and celebrating the many valuable contributions that LGBTQ+ people have brought to the world."

Chief Impact Officer of Emerald Works, Nahdia Khan, highlighted the need for further education around intersectionality. "Pride is a great celebration of the achievements of the LGBTQIA+ movement, but I would like to see a greater debate around systemic issues that affect communities disproportionately. Economic deprivation, mental health and wellbeing for example, and how we can advocate for solutions."

Pride Month Isn't an Excuse for Rainbow Washing!

Pride Month evidently means so much to so many people, but every year it is also rendered meaningless by hundreds of businesses that use it as a marketing ploy. I once looked forward to June and my city's Pride parade, in which everyone felt welcomed and accepted, but now I've come to dread seeing our flag stamped on sandwich wrappers, shampoo bottles, and coffee cups in shops.

I feel like part of my identity is being monetized, reduced to a commodity that anyone and everyone can buy. This phenomenon has been given a name: rainbow washing. We've seen similar appropriations of Black History Month and Juneteenth.

Well, newsflash: we don't want 50 pence coins and colorful sandwich packaging. We just want to exist without facing prejudice or discrimination. Businesses need to do better to build inclusive cultures that aren't superficial!

Pride Month Is About Change

Now, we're seeing shifts in both directions – for better and for worse. Pride Month is an important reminder that the fight for gay rights is still very much on, particularly in countries outside of Europe, the U.S. and Australia.

In a positive shift, Thailand held its first Pride parade in 16 years this month. Calls for same-sex marriage were heard: the government is soon set to vote on a same-sex union bill. While we can't predict this outcome, it's clear that the Thai Pride parade is sparking change in the country's attitudes.

Emerald Publishing Inside Sales Representative, Sarjit Kaur, has observed this, too. She said, "In Asia, LGBTQ+ still revolves very much around relationships, rejection, taboo, mental stress, and emotions. Probably because one's identity relates closely to one's position in the family, community, society, and religion. Sexuality and gender play a significant role in the culture.

"Despite all of that, LGBTQ+ rights vs. Asian values are being challenged by certain activists to encourage people to talk openly about the issues and rights. Today, with the growing LGBTQ+ movements spreading strong messages, I can see people beginning to embrace the LGBTQ+ community and hopefully the situation will change."

Why is Pride Month important to you? What barriers do you think we still need to dismantle in order to achieve equality? Let us know in the comments section below.

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